Letters to Moms

May 10th, 2009

Postpartum Progress

Today is the day.  The Mother’s Day Rally for Moms’ Mental Health is happening right now at Postpartum Progress.   I cannot wait to read the letters!  I haven’t been able to slow down enough today to do it so it’ll probably be until tonight or tomorrow before I can read all of them, but from what I have seen already – WOW!

The kick-off post is here:  Kick-off Post for Rally

My letter was posted this morning and you can read it here:  Tara Mock:  Letter to New Moms

Head over to Postpartum Progress to read more!  Send the link to all the new moms or pregnant moms you know!

Encouragement, Media, Ministry News, Self-care & Healing, Survivor Stories

“Trail of Tears”

May 7th, 2009

I wanted to link you all to a great and informative blog post to My Trail of Tears by Valerie on The Bishop’s Wife.  She share’s her journey through PPD as a Christian.  Really great post.  I’ll also list her subsequent post that she followed up with.  I know you will be so blessed by it.  

My Trail of Tears

My Happy Ending

Survivor Stories

One Step At a Time

May 6th, 2009

Do you ever feel so bogged down by all the you need to get done during the day that you just mentally shut down and get nothing done?  I do that often.  Add to the mix utter exhaustion, depression, anxiety, frustration, lack of motivation, and it’s not a pretty picture.  Perhaps there is even an element of perfectionism – you won’t be able to get it done exactly like you want it or pictured it so why bother?

On those days, I have to put one foot in front of the other and conciously think about one step at a time.  I remember having to even take one breath at a time.  That’s ok, too.  Sometimes the thought process would be, “My goal in the next 30 minutes is to fold and put away the load of towels.”  The sense of accomplishment that would follow would actually motivate me to set another micro-goal for the next 30 minutes.  If a goal didn’t get accomplished, that is ok.  There were plenty more 30-minute time segments coming up to try again.  

Today, try setting one micro-goal for the next thirty minutes.  If it doesn’t happen, try again.  When you get it done, set another goal.  Keep trying, one foot in front of the other, one breath at a time.  You can do it!

And don’t expect it to be perfect.  Just get it done.  :)

Self-care & Healing

Mother’s Day Rally

April 30th, 2009

Postpartum Progress

I am so excited about what is coming up on Mother’s Day on Katherine Stone’s Postpartum Progress!  New moms, listen up!  This will be encouraging, inspiring, educational and worthwhile!  On Mother’s Day, Katherine is hosting the Mother’s Day Rally for Moms’ Mental Health where every hour on the hour for twenty-four hours, a letter by a different author will be posted – letters written to you - the new mom!

The authors come from all walks of life in the postpartum mood disorder world – survivors, experts, advocates, and all of the above.  We will write to share what we will on maternal mental health during pregnancy and postpartum.   I am super-excited to be a part of this amazing group of ladies who get to share their thoughts with you and I cannot wait to read what the others are writing as well.

From a personal perspective, I remember my first mother’s day being extremely bittersweet.  Probably more bitter than sweet as well.  I had looked forward to that day for a few years, I couldn’t wait to celebrate finally being a mom!  That day came and I was bitter.  I hated that I was sick, hated that I needed help to do basic things, hated that I couldn’t function like a “normal” mom.  It was sweet because, well, I was a mom.  I was, thankfully, getting to a point where I was starting to feel slowly better and I was loving my baby.  

It was also a very bitter day, that first Mother’s Day, because I encountered very direct rudeness about the ignorance of postpartum depression on Mother’s Day.  I know I have mentioned this before, but in case you did not know, I was buying (then) Brooke Shields’ new book “Down Came the Rain” and the cashier commented that she didn’t understand how anyone could be depressed after having a baby.

It felt like a slap in the face.  With a red, hot hand.

Talk about bitter.

Those memories still burn in my mind and I constantly work to create new ones and let those go.  The reason I tell you this is that because if this is your first Mother’s Day, you will have encouragement on the hour, every hour at Postpartum Progress.  Check in there and read again a new letter directed right to you.  You will see first-hand how many people care, how many people have been there, how many people know what you are going through, how many people know that this is real…I could go on and on.

So mark your calendars.  And head to Postpartum Progress.  You won’t regret it!

Encouragement, Media, Ministry News, Survivor Stories

Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act

April 25th, 2009

I am about a week late posting my support for Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act Blog Day.   Busy week – traveling, guests, and everything in between.  I do not quite manage to plan far enough in advance to pre-post a blog post.  Maybe someday, right?  I’ve even got articles in the making I need to finish…laundry to do…kids to raise…a husband to train…   *grin*  

In all seriousness, I am adding my voice to so many out there who are screaming with all their hearts about how important this act is to the women of this nation.  Let me give a couple of different perspectives that I, personally, have experienced.

First, I was so incredibly fortunate and blessed to have a doctor, nurses, and close friends who were all educated about this illness.  How often does that happen?  Really, not often enough.  I know I am in a slim minority with that kind of support.  When PPD hit me like a speeding train, they were all there to catch me and I received help so fast that most of the time I hardly remember what happened when.  All I knew was that I was getting help.  The hopelessness I felt had begun to dissipate slowly but surely and I was surrounded by a gentle cushion of love and encouragement, along with the support of concerned and educated medical professionals.

That is how it should be.  That is what I desire it to be for every woman in America.  

But that is not the case.  How do I know?

In this ministry called Out of the Valley Ministries, Inc. where you are reading this blog, I have been in contact with so many women, more than I can count.  I have heard countless stories from women who have lost all hope of speaking to their doctors any more about how they feel.  Their doctors have minimized their feelings, not listened, dismissed them and their symptoms, simply called in a prescription without listening to the entirety of what as going on and asking questions to get the whole scope of the new mom’s situation.  I’ve talked to women who have had no home support – significant others and loved ones who tell the new mom to get over it and move on, friends who disappear, churches that abandon them and tell them they have no faith, they need to read Scripture more and pray more.  I’ve talked to women who have attempted suicide, I’ve had to tell husbands what their wife just attempted, I’ve prayed with women over the phone at midnight because of anxiety and confusing thoughts and feelings and not understanding what is going on.  I’ve answered numerous email questions about the very same stuff as well.

This underscores the need for education and screening.  

Both personally as a survivor, and as a lay advocate and encourager, I’ve seen enough to know that the passage of this act is vital.  I’ve had enough of  hearing of more news stories of moms committing suicide or harming their infants or even sharing of those intrusive thoughts, and then hearing the common masses crucify her in the press and internet.

Walk a mile in our shoes.  You.  have.  no.  idea.  

The least we can all do is support the passage of a bill that would assist women in becoming better moms if they are sick, and screening at-risk moms, educating moms and health professionals.  This hurts no one, and helps everyone.  To not pass it harms everyone – everyone.  

To those of you who do support it, thank you from the depths of my heart.  Your heart and your concern for new moms is so clear in such a simple act.  We are forever grateful, as are future moms and babies.  Their very lives depend on it.  

To those of you who do not and seem to believe the act is about forcing pills down someone’s throat (and no, it is NOT)  I ask that you first walk a mile in my shoes, in Melanie’s shoes, in her mother’s shoes, in any survivor’s shoes, in any deceased mother’s family’s shoes, then tell me it doesn’t need to be passed.  Until then…

Media

Dads, too…

April 8th, 2009

Here is an article in Newsweek about Male Postpartum Depression.

Dads need help, too, and its not their fault.  There are a list of resources for dads here, three in particular that I know of.

Check it out!

Care for Others, Education & Research, Media

Support the MOTHERS Act!

April 5th, 2009

Here’s how…

Ladies and Gentleman:

Now that The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act has passed in the U.S. House of Representatives, we face an even more difficult challenge getting it to the senate floor and passed this year. With the help of Mary Jo Codey, Former First Lady, State of New Jersey, Sylvia Lasalandra, author of A Daughters Touch, and Katherine Stone, author of our nation’s most widely read blog on PPD, Postpartum Progress, we are attempting to bring the movement of support to life by listing the names of constituents within each state that support this legislation.

We’ve gotten off to a great start, but have a ways to reach our goal of a thousand signatures from each state by MOTHERS Day.

Please help us build this additional, more personal demonstration of national support by encouraging your colleagues, family and friends to lend their names to this project. The stakeholders are anyone who has ever been a mother or a child.  Please ask them to email me at susanstonelcsw@aol.com

with their name, state, any credentials, and permission to be listed.

To see the listings, go to http://www.perinatalpro.com/ppdlegislation/listingofsupporters.html

Thanks for all you do for women, children and families to support maternal child health!

Warmly,

Susan

Susan Dowd Stone, MSW, LCSW
Chair, President’s Advisory Council,
Postpartum Support International
NJHSS Certified Perinatal Mood Disorders Instructor
Adjunct Lecturer, Silver School of Social Work
New York University
Public Reviewer, NIMH

http://www.perinatalpro.com
susanstonelcsw@aol.com

Please take the time to send Ms. Stone an email indicating your support and signature for this important legislation.   I have already done so and you can click on the above link to see the wide range of organizations and individual supporters.   You can read more about this here.


Media

All Clear – Virus Free!

April 2nd, 2009

All is well now.  Hopefully.  For the time being.  Hosting company seemed to have removed all signs of said trojan virus.  I’d really love to know how they got it in the first place and why no virus protection was in place?  

And we’ll be changing hosting companies this weekend.  Oh joy.  

My sincerest apologies if this caused any problems for any of you!  Please come back!  

Uncategorized

Trojan/Virus

April 2nd, 2009

Hi, all…

The server at our hosting company has been infected with a trojan virus, hence your McAfee is probably screaming at your right now to leave my site immediately.  I’m working fast and furiously (ie waiting impatiently for my hosting company to get back to me) to get it working again and all our websites cleaned up.

Back soon…

Uncategorized

Refuge and Shelter

April 2nd, 2009

Psalm 91:1-6

1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him.
3 For he will rescue you from every trap
and protect you from deadly disease.
4 He will cover you with his feathers.
He will shelter you with his wings.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
5 Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,
nor the arrow that flies in the day.
6 Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,
nor the disaster that strikes at midday.

When I was discouraged during my illness, I would read this repeatedly.  It brings great comfort to many who are struggling. Find rest today, know that He alone is your refuge and shelter, day or night.

Devotional