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Letters to Moms

May 10th, 2009

Postpartum Progress

Today is the day.  The Mother’s Day Rally for Moms’ Mental Health is happening right now at Postpartum Progress.   I cannot wait to read the letters!  I haven’t been able to slow down enough today to do it so it’ll probably be until tonight or tomorrow before I can read all of them, but from what I have seen already – WOW!

The kick-off post is here:  Kick-off Post for Rally

My letter was posted this morning and you can read it here:  Tara Mock:  Letter to New Moms

Head over to Postpartum Progress to read more!  Send the link to all the new moms or pregnant moms you know!

Encouragement, Media, Ministry News, Self-care & Healing, Survivor Stories

Mother’s Day Rally

April 30th, 2009

Postpartum Progress

I am so excited about what is coming up on Mother’s Day on Katherine Stone’s Postpartum Progress!  New moms, listen up!  This will be encouraging, inspiring, educational and worthwhile!  On Mother’s Day, Katherine is hosting the Mother’s Day Rally for Moms’ Mental Health where every hour on the hour for twenty-four hours, a letter by a different author will be posted – letters written to you - the new mom!

The authors come from all walks of life in the postpartum mood disorder world – survivors, experts, advocates, and all of the above.  We will write to share what we will on maternal mental health during pregnancy and postpartum.   I am super-excited to be a part of this amazing group of ladies who get to share their thoughts with you and I cannot wait to read what the others are writing as well.

From a personal perspective, I remember my first mother’s day being extremely bittersweet.  Probably more bitter than sweet as well.  I had looked forward to that day for a few years, I couldn’t wait to celebrate finally being a mom!  That day came and I was bitter.  I hated that I was sick, hated that I needed help to do basic things, hated that I couldn’t function like a “normal” mom.  It was sweet because, well, I was a mom.  I was, thankfully, getting to a point where I was starting to feel slowly better and I was loving my baby.  

It was also a very bitter day, that first Mother’s Day, because I encountered very direct rudeness about the ignorance of postpartum depression on Mother’s Day.  I know I have mentioned this before, but in case you did not know, I was buying (then) Brooke Shields’ new book “Down Came the Rain” and the cashier commented that she didn’t understand how anyone could be depressed after having a baby.

It felt like a slap in the face.  With a red, hot hand.

Talk about bitter.

Those memories still burn in my mind and I constantly work to create new ones and let those go.  The reason I tell you this is that because if this is your first Mother’s Day, you will have encouragement on the hour, every hour at Postpartum Progress.  Check in there and read again a new letter directed right to you.  You will see first-hand how many people care, how many people have been there, how many people know what you are going through, how many people know that this is real…I could go on and on.

So mark your calendars.  And head to Postpartum Progress.  You won’t regret it!

Encouragement, Media, Ministry News, Survivor Stories

Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act

April 25th, 2009

I am about a week late posting my support for Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act Blog Day.   Busy week – traveling, guests, and everything in between.  I do not quite manage to plan far enough in advance to pre-post a blog post.  Maybe someday, right?  I’ve even got articles in the making I need to finish…laundry to do…kids to raise…a husband to train…   *grin*  

In all seriousness, I am adding my voice to so many out there who are screaming with all their hearts about how important this act is to the women of this nation.  Let me give a couple of different perspectives that I, personally, have experienced.

First, I was so incredibly fortunate and blessed to have a doctor, nurses, and close friends who were all educated about this illness.  How often does that happen?  Really, not often enough.  I know I am in a slim minority with that kind of support.  When PPD hit me like a speeding train, they were all there to catch me and I received help so fast that most of the time I hardly remember what happened when.  All I knew was that I was getting help.  The hopelessness I felt had begun to dissipate slowly but surely and I was surrounded by a gentle cushion of love and encouragement, along with the support of concerned and educated medical professionals.

That is how it should be.  That is what I desire it to be for every woman in America.  

But that is not the case.  How do I know?

In this ministry called Out of the Valley Ministries, Inc. where you are reading this blog, I have been in contact with so many women, more than I can count.  I have heard countless stories from women who have lost all hope of speaking to their doctors any more about how they feel.  Their doctors have minimized their feelings, not listened, dismissed them and their symptoms, simply called in a prescription without listening to the entirety of what as going on and asking questions to get the whole scope of the new mom’s situation.  I’ve talked to women who have had no home support – significant others and loved ones who tell the new mom to get over it and move on, friends who disappear, churches that abandon them and tell them they have no faith, they need to read Scripture more and pray more.  I’ve talked to women who have attempted suicide, I’ve had to tell husbands what their wife just attempted, I’ve prayed with women over the phone at midnight because of anxiety and confusing thoughts and feelings and not understanding what is going on.  I’ve answered numerous email questions about the very same stuff as well.

This underscores the need for education and screening.  

Both personally as a survivor, and as a lay advocate and encourager, I’ve seen enough to know that the passage of this act is vital.  I’ve had enough of  hearing of more news stories of moms committing suicide or harming their infants or even sharing of those intrusive thoughts, and then hearing the common masses crucify her in the press and internet.

Walk a mile in our shoes.  You.  have.  no.  idea.  

The least we can all do is support the passage of a bill that would assist women in becoming better moms if they are sick, and screening at-risk moms, educating moms and health professionals.  This hurts no one, and helps everyone.  To not pass it harms everyone – everyone.  

To those of you who do support it, thank you from the depths of my heart.  Your heart and your concern for new moms is so clear in such a simple act.  We are forever grateful, as are future moms and babies.  Their very lives depend on it.  

To those of you who do not and seem to believe the act is about forcing pills down someone’s throat (and no, it is NOT)  I ask that you first walk a mile in my shoes, in Melanie’s shoes, in her mother’s shoes, in any survivor’s shoes, in any deceased mother’s family’s shoes, then tell me it doesn’t need to be passed.  Until then…

Media

Dads, too…

April 8th, 2009

Here is an article in Newsweek about Male Postpartum Depression.

Dads need help, too, and its not their fault.  There are a list of resources for dads here, three in particular that I know of.

Check it out!

Care for Others, Education & Research, Media

Support the MOTHERS Act!

April 5th, 2009

Here’s how…

Ladies and Gentleman:

Now that The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act has passed in the U.S. House of Representatives, we face an even more difficult challenge getting it to the senate floor and passed this year. With the help of Mary Jo Codey, Former First Lady, State of New Jersey, Sylvia Lasalandra, author of A Daughters Touch, and Katherine Stone, author of our nation’s most widely read blog on PPD, Postpartum Progress, we are attempting to bring the movement of support to life by listing the names of constituents within each state that support this legislation.

We’ve gotten off to a great start, but have a ways to reach our goal of a thousand signatures from each state by MOTHERS Day.

Please help us build this additional, more personal demonstration of national support by encouraging your colleagues, family and friends to lend their names to this project. The stakeholders are anyone who has ever been a mother or a child.  Please ask them to email me at susanstonelcsw@aol.com

with their name, state, any credentials, and permission to be listed.

To see the listings, go to http://www.perinatalpro.com/ppdlegislation/listingofsupporters.html

Thanks for all you do for women, children and families to support maternal child health!

Warmly,

Susan

Susan Dowd Stone, MSW, LCSW
Chair, President’s Advisory Council,
Postpartum Support International
NJHSS Certified Perinatal Mood Disorders Instructor
Adjunct Lecturer, Silver School of Social Work
New York University
Public Reviewer, NIMH

http://www.perinatalpro.com
susanstonelcsw@aol.com

Please take the time to send Ms. Stone an email indicating your support and signature for this important legislation.   I have already done so and you can click on the above link to see the wide range of organizations and individual supporters.   You can read more about this here.


Media

Private Out-of-Practice

February 13th, 2009

I am appalled.  

I heard through blogs and emails about the Private Practice episode airing on ABC last evening with some sort of postpartum mood disorder storyline.  They even consulted with PSI about doing a PSA sometime during the show.  Those of us who wholeheartedly advocate for these illnesses were thrilled that some accurate information would finally be “out there.”

Boy, were we wrong.

They failed miserably.  For details and an excellent read on the matter, I suggest you check out Katherine Stone’s post on the topic as well as Lauren Hale’s post.   I completely support Katherine’s suggestion to “pull the plug on Private Practice” and in fact, it wouldn’t bother me to take it a step further and go for all of ABC as well.  

(Then again, I do not have satellite or cable so I realize this is an easier step for me than most.  I watch my shows online.)

Admittedly, I did not watch the show, for the above reason.  Even if I could, I do not think I will.  I have gathered enough information from the summaries posted to know that it was poorly done.  In addition, I am inserting an extra step of self-protection because I tend to easily get wrapped up in dramatic moments, and watching the intensity of the some of the scenes described will probably be too much for me.  Then the resulting anger at the mishandling of the information?  Oh yea, it would put me over the edge and I would obsess for days, not to mention the memory triggers alone.  Reading the summary is enough, thankyouverymuch.

If you are a new mom, hurting and wondering how true this episode is, I highly encourage you to check out the posts I linked above and everyone know this:

1.  There are specialists out there to help you through this!  Go to Postpartum Support International and contact the coordinator in your area for a referral.  Additionally, there are a wealth of regional resources listed on the main Out of the Valley site under the “Resources” tab.

2.  Please do not be afraid!  This show is not a representation of a HUGE majority of moms who go through a PPMD.  Trust me on this.  I’ve been there, ok?  Again, see Katherine’s post (linked above) for the errors in the storyline. 

3.  Educate yourself on postpartum mood disorders.  The more you know, the less you fear.  There are several books out there about it, and I list several in the Resources section.  Do yourself a favor and educate yourself.

4.  Do not isolate yourself.  Reach out to other women who have been there.  There is a vast network of blogging mommas who have been there, a couple of community forums (online), and community support groups.  Google is your friend.  You will find out rather quickly that you are not alone and you will find encouragement to keep going.

5.  When you feel well, if you can, be a VOICE for this illness!  Do not be ashamed.  We need advocates to stop the misinformation and stigma about PPD.  There will be more new moms who will be hit with this, and we do not want them to face what those behind us had to face.  Being so open about my story creates numerous ministry opportunities.  You would not believe the number of woman who will bravely admit for the first time ever that they suffered, too, when you talk about your own story.  It’s happened to me on more than one occassion.  You can start being a voice, even now, by taking a stand against how the producers, writers, or whoever-the-powers-may-be on this show treated this illness.

Pull the plug, folks.  Take a stand.  Lift your voice.  There is no better time than now.

Media

Blog Support and PPD “Definitions”

January 19th, 2009

Lauren Hale at Sharing the Journey has a couple of really great posts today that I wanted to bring your attention to.   Her blog is linked in my blogroll and for good reason – it’s a great blog that combines her transparency as a mom of three and her experiences with PPD with reports on PPD happenings and research.  

Today, Lauren shared her thoughts on two topics:  blog as support for PPD recovery and how people have misused, and sometimes quite insensitively, the term “postpartum depression.”

I have been learning a lot about the blog world as I write these two blogs (this one and my personal blog) and what an incredible community it is.  I was reading on one mom’s blog who delivered a baby – and that baby was immediately airlifted to another hospital.  The parents arrived to find blog readers ready and waiting to comfort them, help them, bring them food and gifts, etc.   People they had never met!  Can you imagine?  Technology never fails to amaze me.  The connections people make online can be uplifting and encouraging, especially through challenging and dark times.

Such as postpartum depression.

Writing and blogging about one’s experience with postpartum depression can be healing not only for the writer but for the suffering mom who connects to that blog and knows she is not alone.  Not everyone may feel they can share what they are going through on such a forum as a blog, and that is ok.   If that is you, just search and read.  Know you are not alone.  If you are the writer, share and also seek and read, knowing that you are not alone.

As a survivor, letting women know that I have been there and they will get through it, too, is healing for me.  It makes my journey worth it.  As a Christian, the fruit of a horrible experience ultimately brings glory to God.  That brings me joy.

In Lauren’s second post, she discussed the insensitivity of people to apply the term “postpartum depression” to situations that have nothing to do with postpartum depression.  They use it lightly, off the cuff, and with no regard or respect for those who have nearly lost their lives to it or to those who have lost their lives to it.  

And I 100% agree with her.  I even, admittedly, get bothered when people confuse “baby blues” with “postpartum depression” or think that they went through PPD when all they experienced was baby blues for a week or two.  There really is a BIG difference.  

Would you jokingly use the term “plane crash” when sitting next to a person who just survived one?

Would you flippantly say “kill the kid” when standing near a mom who just buried her child?

Would you tell someone you are experiencing “postpartum depression” because you miss the holiday season when their wife committed suicide six months ago because of PPD?

Take it seriously, folks.  Be compassionate no matter what terminology you are using.

Care for Others, Education & Research, Media

Country Music Artist to Host Benefit Concert for PPD

October 16th, 2008

“WADE BOWEN CLASSIC” CELEBRITY GOLF TOURNAMENT AND CONCERT SET TO BENEFIT WOMEN WITH POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION

Cross Canadian Ragweed To Join Bowen At Event on Nov. 2-3 in Waco, TX

 

NASHVILLE, TENN – October 3, 2008 – Country music artist Wade Bowen will host his 11th annual “Wade Bowen Classic” concert and celebrity golf tournament on Nov. 2 and3 in Waco, TX.   This year’s event benefits Postpartum Support International (PSI), the world’s largest nonprofit supporting women with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders.

An all-star concert kicks off the two-day event at the Heart of Texas Fairground GE Building in Waco at 7:00pm on November 2, featuring Bowen and friends, including Cross Canadian Ragweed and Stoney LaRue, with more guest announcements in the coming weeks. The golf tournament the next day will be a two-man scramble and will take place at beautiful Cottonwood Creek Golf Course in Waco.

“I’m so proud of how this event has grown and how everyone has come together to raise so much money,” said Bowen.  “This year we are partnering with PSI, which hits really close to home for me because my wife battled postpartum depression after the birth of our first child, and I know how severely it can affect families. Believe me when I tell you that it is a cause that needs more awareness.”  

 Bowen recently released his new album, “If We Ever Make It Home,” featuring the song “Turn on the Lights,” which he wrote about his family’s experience with postpartum depression. To see him perform the song, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Bnh0EuexQE.

Tickets for both components of the weekend are available at http://www.wadebowen.com/bowenclassic and start at $15. Over the past two years, The Bowen Classic has raised nearly $60,000.

Postpartum Support International (PSI) is the world’s largest non-profit organization dedicated to helping women suffering from perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, including postpartum depression, the most common complication of childbirth. PSI was founded in 1987 to increase awareness among public and professional communities about the emotional difficulties that women can experience during and after pregnancy.  The organization offers support, reliable information, best practice training, and volunteer coordinators in all 50 U.S. states as well as 26 countries around the world. Working together with volunteers, caring professionals, researchers, legislators and others, PSI is committed to eliminating stigma and ensuring that compassionate and quality care is available to all families.  To learn more, call PSI at 800-944-4PPD or visit www.postpartum.net. 

For additional information on the Bowen Classic, visit http://www.wadebowen.com/bowenclassic.  For questions regarding sponsorship or group ticket rates please contact “Big Hearted Babes” at www.bigheartedbabes.com

Media, Videos & Music

Sue McRoberts on 100 Huntley Street!

October 15th, 2008

I am, once again, woefully slow in posting this, but I wanted to let you all know that Sue McRoberts, author of The Lifter of My Head:  How God Sustained Me During Postpartum Depression, was interviewed on 100 Huntley Street, a Canadian Christian television program back in September.  You can find the link to her episode here:

http://www.crossroads.ca/100hs/program-2008-sep01-sep05.php

Her interview starts around the 14:30 mark.  My player stopped working partway through the interview (which frustrated me to no end) but what I did see was marvelous.

Sue – you did a fabulous job, so composed, so calm and so beautiful!!  I cannot wait to see the rest of the interview!

Ladies, check it out – the interview and Sue’s book.  She is an inspiration and a true example that you, too, will make it through your journey through PPD.

Books, Encouragement, Media, Videos & Music

MOTHERS Act – Your Help Needed!

April 10th, 2008

Hi, Ladies! 

Please check this post at Katherine Stone’s blog Postpartum Progress on how you can help this important bill get passed in the Senate.  Your help is needed now!  There are a lot of rumors and false information out there about this bill, when in fact it is intended to help not hurt.  Please read about the facts on Katherine’s blog.  She also has super easy links for how to contact your senators and get your voice heard. 

http://postpartumprogress.typepad.com/weblog/2008/04/mothers-act-los.html

Media, Ministry News