When we go through postpartum depression, the rest of the life does not slow down or stop the rest of its troubles until we are better, unfortunately.  It is easy to feel entirely overwhelmed and angry when bad things happen while we are trying to get through this one, long, enduring bad thing at the moment, right?  

I may not be going through postpartum depression any longer, but the feeling of being overwhelmed was very strong earlier this week.  Our beloved pet, Goldie, passed away right here with us.  Our hearts were utterly broken even though we knew it was her time – she was twelve years old, fairly elderly for her breed (Golden Retriever).  She was our baby before we had babies, when we could not even get pregnant, and an absolute angel when we did have babies.

A few hours after her death, my daughter woke up screaming and subsequently started puking for the reminder of the night and into the next day.   It was starting to feel like too much, but I have learned I have a choice on how I can handle it:  meltdown or place my trust in Him and derive all my strenth from Him.  I strove to choose the latter.  

An exhausting 18 hours after she first got sick, I received a message that a dear friend from graduate school had delivered a stillborn baby at 22 weeks.  Crushed.  I was sick of the illness and death all around me.  Why, why, why?

It’s a question asked from the beginning of time, and one I screamed at my God when I was overwhelmed in the midst of my postpartum depression and/or additional tragic or stressful events.  

But my God is faithful and unchanging.  I think my mentor said it best when she emailed this to me:

“Thank goodness we have faith…faith in a loving God who comforts us in the face of heartbreaking mysteries.”

When you feel completely overwhelmed by what you are going through as well as other stressful and/or tragic events  in life and you are ready to “throw in the towel”, make a choice to choose Him and keep going, one foot in front of the other, one breath at a time.  He is your Strong Tower.

 

Psalm 64:2-4:  2 From the ends of the earth I call to you, 
       I call as my heart grows faint; 
       lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

 3 For you have been my refuge, 
       a strong tower against the foe.

 4 I long to dwell in your tent forever 
       and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. 
       Selah

 

Devotional, Encouragement