(continued from The Fear of Another)

I was now pregnant with my second child, scared beyond words that the horrible postpartum depression would return when I delivered this baby.  How in the world would I make this second experience better? 

I had to plan carefully.  I had to arm myself with knowledge and preparation. 

I knew that it was a possibility that PPD would not happen again, but chances were slim because it had happened already with the first.  I was already on an anti-depressant when I found out I was pregnant so with my doctor’s advice and recommendation, it was decided I would stay on the medication through my pregnancy.  The risk of relapse into a prenatal depression if I weaned off the drug at this point was too great. 

The process of planning was actually very helpful in helping me to cope with my fear and trepidation.  I felt like it gave me some level of control, gave my mind something to focus on, and it kept me busy – well, that and a toddler kept me plenty busy!

This pregnancy was no easier than the first and, in fact, more troublesome symptoms appeared – migraines, constant morning sickness (minus about six weeks in the middle), back pain, and restless leg syndrome.  Nice…restless legs alone are enough to make a person sleepless and anxious, but I had to rely on Christ and what I knew:

This was only temporary, God had me in the palm of His Hand, and He would give me just the strength I needed to get through each moment. 

One thing that we did differently than the first pregnancy was to find out the sex of the baby.  We found out we were having a girl and we had a name picked out and I believe this helped me, personally, to start bonding with my baby right away.  With the first, we did not find out the sex and I am not sure I did myself any favors by doing that, in hindsight.  Do not get me wrong – I am NOT implying that that is in any way a generalized trigger for PPD, but I do believe that for me and my personality it could have been.

So, my plan…here are a list of the many things I did to help prepare for my family, myself, and the baby’s arrival to minimize any onset of postpartum depression.  I hope I remember them all!  If not, I’ll come back and add to the list periodically…

1. Had a schedule of family and friends to be here helping out up to six weeks following S’s birth.
2. Activities and a gift planned for G so help him feel included and cared for and loved by everyone.
3. During my pregnancy, when I would make certain dinners, I would cook double portions and freeze the second portion to thaw and eat following S’s birth.
4. Discussed a signal with my husband to use when I needed time to myself, when I could escape to my room to relax and stem off an anxiety attack.
5. Made it a rule that after S was born and when we had guests, our master bedroom would be my sanctuary – my place of retreat.  No one was allowed back there but myself and my husband.  It gave me a safe place to be.
6. Enlisted close friends to cover me in prayer and a few who I relied upon to call and talk to about what I was feeling when I needed to – with their permission ahead of time.
7. Gathered a list of counselors I could call and get an appointment with in case I needed it.
8. Made a plan with my OB regarding my anti-depressant medication:  Because I, personally, would not be breastfeeding, I would need to wean down my medication as we got close to birth then as soon as S was delivered begin my medication again immediately.  I may have anti-anxiety meds if needed.  You may want to discuss the need for sleep medication – insomnia was not one of my symptoms but it is a very common symptom that most women will need to plan for.
9. We made the decision to bottlefeed right away – this was the right decision for me and our family for a variety of reasons.  For some women, breastfeeding is their lifeline through PPD, and for some it is a hindrance.  I am of the latter category.  I am happy to share my reasons why, but please know that no matter what you decide, you are an excellent mother and your baby will be healthy and whole.  Either way, choose your course and if you choose to breastfeed, I suggest going into it with an open mind in the event you are unable to.  I struggled greatly when I could not breastfeed, thinking I was a failure as a woman and mom.  Know that you are not a failure no matter what route you choose.
10. I prepared my relaxation basket:  iPod or favorite CDs, a novel, magazine, journal, devotional, Bible, Scripture notecards, candles, photos, etc.  You can use anything that brings comfort and relaxation to you.
11. I prepared a self-care basket for the bathroom.  If you’ve had a baby before (vaginally) you’ll know what I’m referring to.  You’ll need Colace, Ibuprofen, Tucks pads, Dermoplast spray, sanitary napkins, rinse-spray bottle (you’ll bring it home from the hospital), magazine, etc. 
12. Once able to take a bath, prepared bath items:  bubble bath, lotions, body spray, etc.
13. Relaxation CD and headphones.  I had one from a therapist after my first baby.  It was a huge help to me.  I put it next to my bed with headphones prior to S’s birth. 
14. Stocked up on easy-to-digest snacks and healthy foods for all of us, especially myself.
15. Exercise – NOW.  As long as your doctor approves it, exercise is excellent for your mental health.  Admittedly, I was not so good about this – does chasing a toddler count?  I tried to walk as much as I could.
16. Nutrition – eating healthy and balanced diet is also excellent for your mental health.  Be sure to be taking all your necessary vitamins as well.  This was hard for me because my goal was usually to eat what I could keep down, but it is very important.
17. Sleep!  My restless legs were quite a hindrance, but it was part of my routine to take a nap when my son did everyday.
18. I worked hard to establish a mind-set that my routine would once-again go out the window and I had to accept that that would be ok.  I am a perfectionist and routine-oriented in some parts of my life, and this was one my triggers for my PPD after my son. 
19. Looked ahead at what bills would need to be paid and either set them up on auto-pay or made notes for my husband to do so.  (I am the budgeter in my family.)
20. Educated my husband, friends, and family about what to watch for in me. 
21. Prepared Scripture notecards of my favorite encouraging Scriptures to keep with me and read through.
22. Prayer!  And lots of it…

That is a lot of what I did to prepare.  If I think of more I will add them to the list (and date them so you know they were added later).  I hope they help!  If you have any questions or more suggestions that would work for you, please feel free to comment!  I also have an article here on the main ministry website about planning and prevention. 

Next:  When S was born, what actually happened…

Pregnancy/Baby After PPD